We buried my Nan today. As you can imagine it’s been a hard time for my entire family, especially my mum. She has been so amazing strong through this whole thing. Nan was diagnosed with Leukemia about 4 years ago, her Doctors said she had anywhere from 12 month to possibly 5 years.
Nan had been experiencing terrible back pain before the end. She had been into Hospital twice before they transferred her to palliative care. There were people visiting with her everyday, the Nurses would come in surprised and comment that it was like the weekend in there with so many visitors. She was like a second mum to me and I will miss her dearly.
It’s been hard to think about much else this week. I’ve not had a huge appetite and I’ve done some walking but nothing to really help the cause.
It feels like life has been suspended, like everything is hanging up in the air. It’s been weird going to work and being asked to do things, it feels like they should all stop because someone I love is no longer with me, she is suspended and we all need to stop moving forward. Its an odd feeling that’s for sure.
My Nan was on a strict diet ever since she was in her late 20s due to a slight liver overload. When she started to feel really sick the Doctors had no idea what was wrong. It wasn’t until she saw a Naturopath that he told her she was intolerant to a number of foods simply because her liver couldn’t cope. She stopped having wheat (gluten), dairy, yeast, chocolate, and refined sugar all so that she could feel normal and healthy. I want her discipline, her strength, her kindness, and warmth. I want to be able to look back on my life as I’m sure she did hers and know that I did everything I could to take care of myself and my loved ones.
So next week I’m going to spend time taking care of everyone, as well as myself. I will be doing some cooking for Pa, and getting things running smoothly at home as much as possible.